GABRIELLA NICOLE BITCHES

the-robot-condese:

tiny-little-nebula:

taloa-nashoba:

thatthirstyniggafromclass:

misconceptions about strippers. 

pussy preach more sense than the fuckin government.

I want to break necks when people shade strippers. Let’s see your janky ass get out there and look that cute in 6 inch heels for 8 hours, smiling the entire time, stroking egos, pretending a dude’s breath doesn’t smell like a rotten animal.

Truth.

My sister has a Masters in Education. She got a job at one of the poorest schools in the city, but didn’t make enough money to pay to keep her tiny house heated through the Oregon winter or buy enough food or take her dog to the vet (first person who drops the word rehome gets a kick in the face.) so she quit and the only job she could get because she’s “overqualified” to work at Fred Meyers was at a strip club because she minored in ballet. I think people forget that stripping is like any other job: you have to have some experience.

And all those crumpled one dollar bills? 20% of that goes back into the club because strippers are renting the stages they dance on. Sometimes it’s more.

Despite all of that, my sister makes more money than she ever did because she works 80 hour weeks and literally never takes a day off. She teaches classes to drunk white girls, she does private parties, she does entertainment for conferences and shows. 

When I had to go to the ER last February and got a bill for $800 that I couldn’t pay, my sister sent me money so I wouldn’t be sent to collections. 

My sister is the classiest motherfucker in a pair of six inch heels. Anyone who calls her a dumb slut or a hoe gets their shit wrecked.

that’s the best thing i ever just heard get said

katelucia:

Jada Pinkett-Smith is aware of the critics that frown up their noses at the way she raises her daughter, Willow. Willow cuts, dyes and styles her hair as she pleases, a fact that bothers many who feel girls shouldn’t have that much control over their appearance at such a young age.
Jada decided to address the criticism in a Facebook post:

“A letter to a friend…This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete. The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.”

katelucia:

Jada Pinkett-Smith is aware of the critics that frown up their noses at the way she raises her daughter, Willow. Willow cuts, dyes and styles her hair as she pleases, a fact that bothers many who feel girls shouldn’t have that much control over their appearance at such a young age.

Jada decided to address the criticism in a Facebook post:

“A letter to a friend…This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete. The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.”

image

jenniejenn:

Want.

andileigh92:

transmann:


My dad at 29, me at 2 weeks. Me at 29, my boy at 2 weeks. 

this has got to be the best thing i have seen on tumblr so far, i love this way too much. 

wow. I don’t even have words. this is amazing

andileigh92:

transmann:

My dad at 29, me at 2 weeks. Me at 29, my boy at 2 weeks. 

this has got to be the best thing i have seen on tumblr so far, i love this way too much. 

wow. I don’t even have words. this is amazing

fawun:

The split in 1993 was during the filming of Ed Wood and there were days he would come crying, I felt so bad. I asked him why it happened but all he said was, ‘It wasn’t her fault, it was mine.’ And when he met Kate in January of 94, it wasn’t the same as Winona. I felt weird to be around him like he wasn’t acting like Johnny anymore. It’s almost like Winona took Johnny’s soul, Johnny’s love.
- Tim Burton

fawun:

The split in 1993 was during the filming of Ed Wood and there were days he would come crying, I felt so bad. I asked him why it happened but all he said was, ‘It wasn’t her fault, it was mine.’ And when he met Kate in January of 94, it wasn’t the same as Winona. I felt weird to be around him like he wasn’t acting like Johnny anymore. It’s almost like Winona took Johnny’s soul, Johnny’s love.

- Tim Burton

kristina-m:

give-me-nutella:

This is my friend, Gabby. Her brother came home in the middle of a soccer game. It was so adorable I cryyed. I am even in the background of this picture. I will reblog this everytime I see this on my dashboard. I posted this on my other account, but I  want this to be on my new account. I love this picture and I will never forget this day <3

Always reblog <3

kristina-m:

give-me-nutella:

This is my friend, Gabby. Her brother came home in the middle of a soccer game. It was so adorable I cryyed. I am even in the background of this picture. I will reblog this everytime I see this on my dashboard. I posted this on my other account, but I  want this to be on my new account. I love this picture and I will never forget this day <3

Always reblog <3

hyperbolequeen:

you know what the stupidest award is

perfect attendance

why should you be rewarded for having a superior immune system and never catching a virus okay it’s not exactly my fault that I’m not perfect and I gotta work it

where is my award for not murdering anyone all four years of high school since we’re giving out pointless awards here

No one in America should ever be afraid to walk down the street holding hands with the person they love.
President Barack Obama (via notyourlittleslave)
dimensional-ascension:



1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc. 2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!6. Want to avoid a terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding a headache!!7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.9. Out of WD 40 (I hope you are ALWAYS out of WD 40 and that you use just oil -Unprocessed Mama) and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!10. Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.12. Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!


Cucumbers are dank as fuck

dimensional-ascension:

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc. 

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding a headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 (I hope you are ALWAYS out of WD 40 and that you use just oil -Unprocessed Mama) and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the 
surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the 
cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!

Cucumbers are dank as fuck

Things I Never Learned In High School

dontcomecryingtome:

  • How to do taxes
  • What taxes are
  • How to vote
  • What political parties are
  • How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
  • How to write a check/balance a check book
  • Anything to do with banking
  • How to do loans for college
  • How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
  • How to buy a car or house

but I’m so glad I know the fucking pythagorean theorem

thank you